Viking Tales: Aude the Profound

How this Fast Diet Lifestyle works: Eat these meals tomorrow, for a calorie total of less than 600. On another day this week, eat the meals from a different post, another day of eating 600 calories or less. Eat sensibly the other days of the week. That’s it: a simple way to lose weight and be healthier.

Since Vikings have invaded our popular culture, with varying degrees of accuracy in the stories that are told, I thought I would share my research into the subject. When I found out that my mother’s distant French ancestors were Vikings, I wanted to get into their stories. Happily the sagas are very useful for Viking Tales. Some say that the sagas are full of mythopoeicism, while some authors vouch for their accuracy.

The Norse Vikings produced many memorable people with memorable names, and one of the more famous is Auður, the Deep-Minded, also known as Aude the Profound. The Vikings were fond of giving epithets to each other, some in praise [‘the Fair Haired’], others in derision [‘the Fart;’ ‘the Noisy’.] Was Aude philosophical? Was she well-read? Was she able to solve thorny problems? We don’t know, but we do know her life story – which is not as portrayed on “Vikings.” She was born in 830 CE in Romsdahl, Norway. Her father, Kettil ‘flatnefur’ [‘flat-nose’] Bjarnarson, was a companion of Harald Fairhair until Harald gave him the administration of the Hebrides Islands. Kettil decided that he wanted to be ruler there instead, and claimed the islands as his own. Olaf ‘the White’, Viking king of Dublin, Ireland, married Aude. His goal was to make an alliance with the northern Vikings to protect Dublin from attacks. It didn’t work and and Olaf angrily sent his wife and their infant son back to the Hebredies. The boy, Þorsteinn rauð [Thorstein ‘the Red’] grew up on the islands and married before having to flee to northern Scotland with his mother and wife. Aude became the grandmother of seven as her son decided to go off to conquer Scotland. The Scots were against that and in 891 CE, Thorstein was killed in battle. Aude, now the matriarch of a large group of dependants, without the protection of a father, husband, or son, decides to leave. In secret, she commissions a boat to be built in the forest. With the family in tow, she captains the boat to the Orkney Islands. There, her grand-daughter Groa is married to the local leader, jarl Rognvald ‘the Wise’. Next, it is off to the Faroe Islands, where another grand-daughter is married. Then to Iceland where her three siblings live. Aude settles on the west coast, claiming a large tract of land on Hvammsfijordur. She freed her enslaved people, giving them and all of her sailing companions land for farms of their own. As one of the first practicing Christians in Iceland, Aude had crosses set up on a hill [still called Krosshólar] as a place of prayer. Around 921 CE, old Aude called the family together for a feast. She dispensed advice and named her heir. Leaving the party with dignity and a firm step, although somewhat early, Aude retired to bed. The next morning, she was found dead, sitting up amid her pillows. At her request, she was buried in the sand on the beach because she “wanted the waves to wash over her grave.” Thus ended the tale of a strong, courageous, deep-minded woman who was my [very distant] ancestor.

Since Aude lived for some years in Scotland, it seems appropriate to eat some haggis at breakfast. In all the places she lived, salmon would have been a popular food. We will have a very Scandinavian meal with salmon for dinner.

Haggis ScrOmelette: 172 calories 9 g fat 1 g fiber 13 g protein 9 g carbs 50 mg Calcium  NB: Food values shown are for the ScrOmelette and fruit only, and do not include the optional beverages. GF  Haggis could be described as a Scottish lamb sausage. Some of the variety meats in the original recipe are not available, so this is a simplified version.

Three 2-oz eggs of which you will use 1½ eggs per person HINT: If you are serving one person, crack three 2-oz eggs into a small bowl or glass measuring cup. Whip up those eggs and pour half of their volume into a jar with a lid and put it in the ‘fridge for next week.  1½ Tbsp haggis  2 oz applesauce, unsweetened OR 2 oz pear  Optional: blackish coffee [53 calories] or blackish tea or mocha cafe au lait [65 calories] or lemon in hot water   Optional: 5 oz fruit smoothie or berry-yogurt smoothie [88 calories]

Spritz a non-stick pan with olive oil or non-stick spray. Whisk the eggs with the haggis, and salt & pepper to taste. Scramble or cook as an omelette in the pan. Plate with the applesauce and pour the optional beverage. A gateway to Scottish cuisine.

Smorrebrot with Salmon: 257 calories 8 g fat 3 g fiber 14 g protein 28.6 g carbs [~15 g Complex] 48 mg Calcium   PB  A classic summer sandwich from Scandinavia: a delicious meal without heating the kitchen.

1 slice [1½ oz] sourdough rye bread @ 110 calories [the bread should be dense, not fluffy] 1 Tbsp whipped cream cheese 2-4 large leaves of fresh spinach 1½ oz thinly-sliced tomato, slice and salt about 30 minutes earlier for best taste 1 or 1½ oz smoked salmon [you have some calorie wiggle-room] ½ hard-boiled egg, sliced 1-2 oz strawberry

Spread the bread with the cream cheese and lay the spinach leaves on top. Place the tomato slices atop that. For the next layer, put down the salmon, topped by the egg slices. Plate with the berries and enjoy a hot Summer night meal.

Ingredients for next week: Breakfast, single portion for Monday …………………………… single portion for Thursday:

1 two-oz egg + canola oil1 two-oz eggs 
skimmed milk + 2%-fat cottage cheeseraclette cheese
white whole wheat flour + butter70-calorie whole grain bread
strawberries + maple syrup blueberries
Optional smoothieoptional smoothie
optional hot beverageoptional hot beverage

Dinner, single portion for Monday:………………………….. single portion for Thursday:

5 oz smelts + egg white2 two-oz eggs
70-calorie whole-grain breadGruyere cheese + chives
thyme + olive oilSide Salad
choice of vegetables as sidessour-dough rye bread
Sparkling waterSparkling water

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